"But You're a Teacher"

Stereotypes exist for almost every profession. If an accountant can't figure out what to tip when you're out at a restaurant, someone is mandated to make a joke about it. If a truck driver gets lost someone it's required that someone compare them to a GPS. If a chef can't make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, then they're probably not a chef and I don't know how you ever believed their lies.

At my second job I'm known to a few people as "The Teacherman." As in, when they need my attention they'll say "Hey teacherman can you get me two cokes?" or "Hey teacherman, where the hell have you been?" or, my favorite, "Hey teacherman, I thought you were a teacher." The stereotype that comes with being a teacher is that I need to know how to do everything. If I can't figure out what to tip I'm asked, "I guess you don't teach math then do you?" If I don't know directions to our destination I get "You're responsible for teaching people geography, no wonder kids don't know anything." If I can't make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich someone pops out of nowhere to tell me that our education system is antiquated and based on old ideals that are impossible to keep anymore. Furthermore he explains the issues of standardized testing and how it's impossible to evaluate students on such a massive scale and that the lack of data or inaccuracy of data might be a problem in and of itself. After that I politefully ask him to leave kitchen and never come back.

It's hard keeping up with a stereotype and what follows after the jump are situations I've found myself in where someone told me "but you're a teacher..."

I walked around the room while students were working in their science books and someone asked me a particularly scientific question. I encouraged her to search through her book and notes and try to find the answer there. I came back a few minutes later I came back to check in and she still hadn't found the answer. I looked at the question and had no idea what the answer could be. I informed her that I really didn't know that much about science and she cocked her head to the side and said, "But you're a teacher..."

Watching the lunchroom I started talking to some of the students and making sure that they ate the parts of their lunches that actually contained nutrients. I saw a boy eat his candy bar, eat his chips, take three bites of his sandwich and almost throw his apple away. The apple shone bright and almost oozed deliciousness. I bet it was a Golden Delicious. I stopped the boy before he hit the trash can and asked if he planned on eating the apple and he gave me a blank stare coupled with a slow "umm... No?" I asked him if I could have the apple and he said "but you're a teacher..."

"You're not a teacher." The bartender refused to believe that during the day I taught school. He knew I'd been working at the bar for months now and never realized that I did something else. When he did tend bar, he fought fires and I found that almost unbelievable but still he shook his head and told me "You're not a teacher." I told him about my day. How I had taught sixth grade and that most of my writing classes went well, but I had a lot of trouble with one group. I explained that the particularly troublesome class had special needs and that they could be difficult but they didn't know how not to be difficult. He said "That's great but you're not a teacher..."

One of my students came up to me and asked me if I drove a BMW. He informed me that when he graduated college he'd buy a BMW. I told him that I couldn't dream of affording a BMW. He told me something that stuck with me. "But you went to college so that means you make a lot of money. That's what we're doing all of this for, right? So we can go to college and graduate and make lots of money." I told him that I in fact made very little money and that I'm working to pay for the car I own, a Ford Focus. He looked at me confused and said, "But you're a teacher... Don't people who do important things like you get paid well?"

I came into school with a song wedged into my brain so far it would take an excavation crew to get it out. I bopped my head along to the beat in my head and hummed the words. A couple students started asking me what song I had in my head. I told them that it's this rap song that I had recently heard. They begged me to tell them what song had implanted itself in my head. I finally obliged them and told them that I couldn't stop singing Thrift Shop. "What? Are you kidding me Mr. Nomad? You like good music? But you're a teacher..."

"Do you like substituting?"
"I like it alright, but I'd rather be able to be with you guys every day."
"We'd like that too, Mr. N. Do you think you'll get a job here?"
"I'd like to but sometimes it doesn't work out that way."
"But you're here all the time and everybody loves it when they have you. They should just hire you."
"Hey, Brenda, I'm with you. But the world's not like that all the time. I might not be exactly what they're looking for, and then again you have a lot of great teachers and I don't think any of them are going to leave. So where am I supposed to fit in?"
"They can get rid of someone or someone can leave. I really hope you get a job here."
"I can hope the same, but don't put all you're hope in that. Maybe I'm just not meant to be in these classrooms."
"But you're a teacher..."

Lesson 12: When you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME, but mainly me.